For more than a decade, freshmen, facilitators and parent volunteers have gathered annually for six hours in a room at Menlo-Atherton High School for what has become a rite of passage for M-A ninth-graders.

The school is one of many around the country that take part in Challenge Day, an annual event that includes icebreakers, trust-building exercises and an opportunity for students to share personal stories.

With a freshman class of about 600 students, M-A spreads Challenge Day over three days in early January, holding the event in the school's two basketball gyms and enlisting the help of parents and teachers. This year's program was held Jan. 9 through 11.

The program is intended to "break down barriers and promote empathy, respect and cooperation" among students, according to Challenge Day, the organization that coordinates the event across the country. It has received national recognition on television programs such as "The Oprah Winfrey Show" and on MTV.

The day provides a unique opportunity for students to focus on something besides academics, said Sarah Eisner, a co-chair of this year's Challenge Day at M-A.

"So many people, especially in Silicon Valley, are focused on metrics, grades and getting into college," Eisner said. "It's nice to have a day about empathy, love and connection."

A particularly memorable moment for students who take part in Challenge Day, according to program alumni, is the "cross the line" activity, in which facilitators ask students, parents and teachers to cross a line if they've experienced certain situations. For example, a facilitator might say, "Cross the line if you've experienced bullying."

During the day, students meet in small groups of about four to six peers and each gets three minutes to share something personal. Facilitators ask students to complete the phrase: "If you really knew me, you'd know ..." Students can choose to stay silent during the three minutes.

The event has stuck with some M-A graduates.

"I heard stories from extremely different backgrounds than myself," said Michael Culhane, who graduated in 2011 and is from Menlo Park. "It opened my eyes to be understanding of different cultures and backgrounds. ... To this day, I try to use the things that I learned that day in that gym. Mostly being accepting of others and trying to understand people before casting any judgment on them."

Vuki Mataele, who graduated in 2017, echoed Culhane's sentiments. He said that during Challenge Day he learned to apply the saying "never judge a book by its cover" to everyone he meets. "You should always just keep a smile because you don't know what someone is hiding," he said.

"It (Challenge Day) opens you up to a lot of people that are 'quote unquote tough people,'" said Mataele, who is from East Palo Alto.

M-A officials said in a November email to parents that the event has reduced bullying and created more cohesive and positive relationships among students. Empathy is important to the M-A community, and Challenge Day has helped foster empathy at the school, Principal Simone Rick-Kennel said in an interview with The Almanac.

The day has a powerful impact on students, Eisner said. "At the end, they (students) always are given a chance to say what they experienced and there's always at least one (student) who says they realized they have been unkind to someone in the room and want to apologize," she said.

The M-A Parent Teacher Association pays for substitutes to cover the teachers who participate in Challenge Day, and it also pays the Challenge Day organization to put on the program, Rick-Kennel said. Challenge Day charges schools $3,575 per day for the program, according to the organization's website.

M-A is expanding its community-building programming with more events like Challenge Day, Rick-Kennel said. The school hosted a service learning day on Jan. 9, sending 60 students out to locations like the Belle Haven Community Garden to volunteer.

For more on Challenge Day, go here.

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